How many times this last week did you get annoyed by someone you know? A colleague, the other mom in the pick-up line at your kid’s school, or even a friend or significant other. They all have the potential to anger us and even make us lose faith in humanity. What if I told you there is a way to keep this from happening?
This week my obsession with Brene Brown and Rising Strong continues. In chapter 6 she explores the concept of losing our belief in good people. It is so easy to become frustrated with others and the way they treat us. However, the research Brene found when writing her book showed that the most compassionate people had the most well-defined boundaries and were the most likely to ask for what they need.
If you have ever read a book on relationships you have probably heard the concept that others learn how to treat us based on how we allow them to treat us. If we allow people to take advantage of us or treat us poorly, then that is what they will do. Because we are human we will get fed up with being treated this way, but we still refuse to draw a boundary. We continue to get more annoyed with that person as they continue to treat us poorly until we have reached the point where we have either exploded on that person, or given up on the relationship all together. When this happens often enough we can gradually lose our faith in the world around us.
This week’s challenge: set boundaries and expectations up front. If you can’t pick up that extra shift for your coworker who always seems to be calling out, don’t. If the guy you’re dating keeps blowing you off and then expects you to be available at the drop of the hat, tell him that arrangement doesn’t work for you. My favorite quote rings true once again here, “YOU ARE ENOUGH”. You are enough to set expectations and assume those who deserve a relationship with you will rise to the occasion. If they don’t then they weren’t meant to be a part of your life and you will be able to let them go before you begin to resent them. You deserve it.
**Learn more about Brene Brown and Rising Strong here